Disclaimer: The following blog reflects my personal opinions and beliefs. It is not intended to harm or offend anyone’s interests or beliefs. The information provided is based on my research and knowledge, and I encourage readers to do their own research and form their own opinions.
Have you ever felt the need to mould your children into “perfect” beings? Do you feel the weight of comparison and judgment from others, or the need to constantly keep up with trends? Teenagers feel it on a much larger scale. To be blunt, they have platforms to compare themselves to millions of different peers in one single year.
Introduction.
I have seen parents brush off these topics in teens from their minds lightly by saying “Mere bachcha toh aisa nahi sochta, she’s very focused on her studies” or “Yeh kaunsi age hai inn cheezon ke baare mein sochne ki?”. Sorry to break it to you, but this perfect little illusion you’ve been clinging onto is nothing but a facade. The reality is harsh, and it’s time we faced it head-on. Even the brightest of kids, those who are topping the JEE and NEET exams and other competitive exams, feel the weight of societal expectations on their shoulders. They’re pushed to set high goals for themselves, impress their peers, and satisfy their parents’ aspirations. Let’s be real here, it’s not just social media that’s creating this pressure for perfection. This pressure isn’t just limited to the online world; it’s embedded in the very fabric of our society. But, social media heightens these needs or demands to such a high level, rai ka pahaad ban jaata hai.
By setting boundaries and being mindful of the potential harms, parents can help their children use social media in a way that promotes increased productivity and understanding, while avoiding the negative consequences that can come from overuse. It’s important to encourage kids to use social media for productive purposes, it’s equally important for parents to monitor their children’s usage and ensure they’re not spending too much time online.
The Problem.
Teenagers are often exposed to a plethora of content on social media platforms and other digital media channels that showcase high-achievers in various fields. These may include IITians (Indian Institutes of Technology) on YouTube and LinkedIn, high achievers on Reddit, popular Discord admins, Pinterest beauty influencers, TV celebrities promoting toxic masculinity, and addictive games such as PubG and PokemonGo. While such content can be motivating, inspiring and fruitful to some teenagers, it can also lead to a negative impact on others.
Research studies have found a correlation between increased use of social media and decreased self-esteem in teenagers. According to a study published in the journal Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, adolescents who spend more time on social media platforms have lower self-esteem and higher levels of social anxiety (1). Another study published in the Journal of Adolescence found that teenagers who spend more time on social media report lower life satisfaction and higher levels of depression (2).
Furthermore, a study published in the journal Computers in Human Behavior found that social comparison on social media platforms, particularly with peers who appear more successful or attractive, can lead to lower self-esteem and feelings of inadequacy in teenagers (3).
In a separate study published in the journal Psychology of Popular Media Culture, researchers found that exposure to images of beauty ideals on social media platforms can lead to lower body satisfaction and self-esteem in teenage girls (4).
References:
- Cohen, J., & Renshaw, T. (2018). Social media use and self-esteem in children and adolescents: A meta-analysis. Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, 21(9), 1-8.
- Li, X., Li, D., & Newman, J. (2018). Parental mediation, peer norms, and the relationship between social media use and body dissatisfaction among Chinese adolescents. Journal of Adolescence, 67, 30-37.
- Vogel, E. A., Rose, J. P., Okdie, B. M., Eckles, K., & Franz, B. (2015). Who compares and despairs? The effect of social comparison orientation on social media use and its outcomes. Personality and Individual Differences, 86, 249-256.
- Fardouly, J., Diedrichs, P. C., Vartanian, L. R., & Halliwell, E. (2015). Social comparisons on social media: The impact of Facebook on young women’s body image concerns and mood. Body Image, 13, 38-45.
These studies suggest that social media use, particularly in the context of comparing oneself to others or exposure to idealized beauty standards, can have a negative impact on teenagers’ self-esteem. It is important for parents and caregivers to be aware of these potential negative effects and help their teenagers develop a healthy relationship with social media.
I discussed the rise of body image issues in one of my previous blogs, you can check it out here -> https://yourstrulyvaikhari.com/?p=23
Possible Solutions.
As a parent, it can be difficult to keep up with the constantly evolving landscape of social media. One minute, you think you have a handle on things, and the next, a new trend has emerged, leaving you feeling lost and unsure of how to help your teenager navigate through the online world.
Studies have shown that social media use can have a negative impact on teenagers’ mental health. According to a survey by the American Psychological Association, “adolescents who spent more time on new media (including social media and electronic devices such as smartphones) were more likely to report mental health issues, including depression and anxiety.”
It’s clear that social media can be harmful to the developing brain and focus of a teenager. So, as a parent, how can you help your child navigate through this epidemic?
- BE OPEN TO TOUGH CONVERSATIONS
Share your own experiences and explain how social media can create unrealistic expectations and make people feel inadequate. You can share stories from your own childhood, facing rejections, failing at tests, or basically, facing at things, like in Chichhore, to let your kids know it’s ok to be real. Often, explaining solutions in a story form is way more perceptible than an authoritative “don’t do this.”
- SPEND LESS TIME ON YOUR PHONE AND MORE WITH YOUR CHILDREN
Speaking from my personal experience, and my close friends’, the time parents spend with a teenager is golden. Lower your own screen time, make out time for their kids and appreciate their work from time to time. Children will follow what their parents do, so if they see their parents using their devices less, they are more likely to do the same.
- APPRECIATE YOUR CHILD
Children praised on their ‘hard work’ as opposed to ‘natural ability’ usually perform better in life because when they fail they attribute it to their effort as opposed to taking it personally.
Blindly following Instagram influencers
In today’s digital age, the influence of social media personalities and influencers is undeniable. Unfortunately, the words of some of these influencers, such as Andrew Tate and TheWizardLiz, can be twisted and popularized to promote toxic coping mechanisms and work ethics. For example, some of Tate’s ideas around success, such as the notion that “winners win and losers lose,” can encourage a cutthroat mentality that prioritizes personal gain over empathy or fairness. Similarly, TheWizardLiz has been criticized for promoting an overly individualistic mindset that ignores the importance of community and collaboration. While it’s important to recognize that not all influencers are problematic, parents and teenagers should be aware of the ways in which some influencers’ messages can be harmful, and be discerning in their social media consumption.
Alpha Men
The terms “alpha,” “sigma,” and other similar labels are often used to describe different types of men based on their social status or perceived level of masculinity. The concept of alpha males originated in the animal kingdom, where the alpha is typically the strongest and most dominant member of a pack. In human society, the term “alpha” has been applied to men who are seen as successful, confident, and assertive, often with a focus on physical strength and sexual prowess. Similarly, “sigma” males are often described as lone wolves who are independent and self-sufficient, while “beta” males may be seen as less dominant and more submissive. These labels can be problematic, as they perpetuate harmful stereotypes and can encourage toxic masculinity. It’s important for parents and teenagers to be aware of these concepts and to approach discussions about gender and masculinity with an open mind and a critical eye.
THE “IT GIRL”
Societal constructs like the “It girl” can potentially harm a teenager’s mental health by creating an unattainable standard of beauty, popularity, and success. The “It girl” is often portrayed as the epitome of desirability, with a perfect body, flawless skin, and an effortless charisma that draws people to her. This image can be incredibly damaging to teenagers who may feel pressure to conform to this ideal, even if it’s unrealistic or unhealthy. Additionally, the emphasis on popularity and social status can lead to a sense of exclusion or alienation for teenagers who don’t fit into the dominant social cliques. This can lead to feelings of low self-esteem, anxiety, and depression. It’s important for parents to talk to their teenagers about the harmful effects of societal constructs like the “It girl,” and to encourage them to focus on developing their own unique strengths and interests rather than trying to conform to an impossible standard. Parents can also help by encouraging their teenagers to engage in activities and hobbies that build self-confidence and self-esteem, such as sports, creative pursuits, or volunteer work.
I suspect my child is addicted to..
Games/Social Media/Porn/Gambling/or is overly insecure about oneself in any aspect
If you suspect that your teenager may be addicted to social media, it is important to broaden your horizons and seek professional help. Consulting a psychologist/psychiatrist/adolescent specialist can be an effective way to address any underlying mental health issues that may be contributing to social media addiction. A mental health professional can help teenagers develop healthy coping strategies, set boundaries with social media use, and improve their overall wellbeing. It is important for parents to remember that social media addiction can have serious consequences, including decreased academic performance, social isolation, and mental health issues such as depression and anxiety. Seeking professional help can be an important step towards supporting their teenager’s overall health and wellbeing.
Aatman Organisation can help you connect with a psychologist or psychiatrist in both remote and on-site setting. https://www.instagram.com/aatman_org/